I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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