Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
