I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
