He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
