Just fell off a train. Bad.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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