Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
