the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
