He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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