I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
