I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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