And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
