I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize