and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
