he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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