The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
