Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize