well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
