today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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