The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
