Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
