goodnight i made you a song goodbye
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
