well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
