She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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