If that was your dad, he is hot
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
