Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
