East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
