hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
