Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
