That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
