Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
