I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize