Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
