i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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