Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
