I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she pinky promised me she was 18
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
