winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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