Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
