I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
