remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
