You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
