Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
