woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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