Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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