What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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