my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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