Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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