Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
