no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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