You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
