ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
