okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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