it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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