I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
