He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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