Me. At least after what I've been through.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
