just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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