There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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