u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
