My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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